It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Mr.
Dickens penned those words over a hundred years ago and for many of us this
happens on a regular basis. My story for the next two months is just like that,
the best and worst of times, rolled into one. Unfortunately, more the worst of
times but with the rose colored glasses perspective of the best of times.
Please enjoy my journey with me.
Wayne Carini of Chasing Classic Cars, Jeff Allen and Meg
Bailey from The Car Chasers, the Gas Monkey guys from Fast and Loud are all
becoming household names, at least in those homes where someone who is
infatuated with cars lives. The premise, find a car that is under-priced, buy it, fix it up and sell it on for a profit (That's how they say it on Wheeler Dealer). Usually this is because someone doesn’t know what they have or the car is solid
and straight but needs a little bit of work or just because it is so cool it
must be worth more than I am going to pay for it. Soooo…go get it! All these
shows make it looks so easy. Jeff Allen will offer a person 25% of their asking
price and suddenly he and the owner are only $1,000 apart. Wayne gets the car
home and his mechanics use a little WD40 on an 80 year old engine, put in some
gas and voila – she starts and runs perfectly. Fast and Loud – I think theirs
is mostly luck, but they seem to be lucky a lot.
I think if they can do it then someone like me who sells
million dollar software systems and
used to sell cars can certainly do the same
thing. It will be like cheating as I not only rake in the cash but also have television networks wanting to make a show about my skills. And, it is all true. All,
except that it being easy, bringing in the bacon and networks smashing down my
door to sign me up for a 10 year show with a sign on bonus of $10 million.
Other than those few things all of this is the complete, swear on the Bible,
honest to goodness truth.
Reality for the other 99.99999% of us is different. Six, or
was it 9 or 10, months ago a colleague
is selling her 1979 Mercedes 450SL in
light yellow. You know the under-priced, perfect car. It grew up in the Southwest, never has seen rain,
pampered for years with only 65,000 miles and made of unobtanium. All this for a
price that is about a quarter of the price of one that I wouldn’t let park in
the same garage as this one. However, the car has sat, and sat, and sat so it
isn’t quite as beautiful anymore. Hoses are cracking, air conditioning only
blows cold in the winter and while pretty rust free the beauty isn’t what it
used to be. Now she looks more like the prom queen at her 35th high
school reunion who has been married 3 times and smoked more than one cigarette.
Nice looking but no longer stunning.
But hey, pay you no mind to all of that – the car is cheap.
I mean like really cheap (see the definition of really cheap later) so I can
buy it, fix it up, and keep it or turn around and sell the car and make enough
profit to pay for my childrens’, grandchildrens’, and great grandchildrens’ college
funds plus purchase that beautiful lake house I have been eyeing. (Okay, in reality, I just want to make
enough to put some nice parts on my other cars and try to restock the quickly
depleting college fund.) I buy it, sight unseen, pictures only and the word of
the mechanic who took care of the car for the last couple of years, and by
caring for, he stored it. I tell the owners‘Here is the money, send me the title and I will be up next week to drive it home!’
Their reply, after a long silence.
‘Ummm, we just need to do a few things to make it road ready first, up to $500 I will pay for.’
Such nice people. I say OK and send on the check.
Meanwhile the Lost in Space robot is yelling ‘Danger Will Robinson, Danger’.
Oh, shut up.
Six, or was it nine or ten, months later I happen to be
flying for work near where the car is located and it is ‘ready’ to be picked
up. All fluids changed and itching for a long drive. I did have to put in a new
temperature regulator flux capacitor and replace a bad fuel injector and
something else. Yada, yada, yada – just give me the damages and I will take it
home and retire.
A $2,700 ‘getting her ready’ check and my trip home begins.
Tune in next month to hear about the trip. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it. The following outlines some of the excitement:
·
A cab that doesn’t show
·
Almost running out of gas
·
186 miles of driving
·
Midnight break down
·
2 hour wait time
·
Skeeter
